So much comes up for me around the subject of scars... I feel that mine are mostly internal, noticeable only to myself. And very intimate. I had a medical experience when I was 21 that was not "invasive" physically, but mentally and emotionally, yes. And uncommon too, something that I don't think many other women have experienced-- but also, probably more have than I would imagine.
I used to want to go to talk therapy mostly just so I could validate these kinds of experiences. I was quite sure that no therapist could tell me something about myself that I didn't already know, but I wanted to explain to someone what I already knew about myself. And I wanted someone to fix me, to smooth over all of these unseen scars, making me feel right again. But now I feel... mmmm.... much more alright than I did back then.
I love this because I have had alot of surgeries for various things but the largest scar I have is from the base of skull to the crack of my butt because of the 10 back surgeries I have over the last 8 years. To me it made sense about circumcision and porn. Also, I lost my 19 year old son to suicide in 2008 and I found his body hanging by a belt which has left a mental in my brain. I also have 2 memorial tattoos for him. This whole session made alot of sense to me and it was thought provoking. I recently have been on a journey of new healthy discovery. I have been to Costa Rica with my exwife and stayed in Nosara and it has been my goal to get back to Costa Rica soon.
Wow, I don’t even know what feeling or thought to address with this episode. It really spoke to me on a deeper level of pain and things I have been working through. A lot of what you both said made me feel excited that I’m not alone in my thinking, and a lot of what was said was also such a powerful and subtle shift in my thinking that felt so nourishing and like breaking through a foggy layer of glass.
I have always felt so alone in the way I have experienced internal and external scars and the ways that certain experiences (that may not seem traumatic or was taught to be normal) have been so deeply interconnected and related to sexual trauma that has been living in me since I was a teenager and young adult. This is profound. Listening to you guys speak on this was not just emotional, but so invigorating because I have never felt before the feeling of…”I SEE you…I’ve GOT you” and to feel that I am not alone in something that I have felt to be true on a deeper level (the interconnectedness) but shoved down and numbed (because of the weight and aloneness). I’ve had to accept that these topics are just going to have to be my core wounding and lessons in life. I’ve always felt so lost in how to tap into the blocks and pains that surround my sexuality and intimacy and (dare I say, hatred) of those experiences, because they always seemed unattainable to me. And i was never taught by my mother or other women how to experience and be raw in those areas. To be able to feel desire for desire was daunting when it all feels like a chore. But something that was profound in your conversation was understanding that subtleties and deeper feelings can be trapped around scars that we may not even be aware of or that we may not know are related. And sometimes just the act of practice and rawness and presence is more impactful than trying to understand the timeline and story (which is why I often give up and go numb)—also a pro disassociator lol. Like Katya was saying about being tied and releasing things that didn’t need to be analyzed or connected to a story. The body is wise and knows what it needs to release.
There’s so much this episode brought up for me and I can feel all the emotions and solution finding trying to play out in my brain (which is stressful) so it was beautiful to hear you walk through a very simple way to approach my scars and that brought me so much peace and clarity to just…begin with that.
There’s obviously SO much coming up, and putting words to it is stressful. So I mostly just wanted to say thank you. And I really feel the vulnerability and emotions working themselves to the top and letting me know that it’s time to not numb these things anymore.
I sat in my living room listening while I felt my skin and tattoos. Then tears just poured out of me. Mine are transition, emotional pain. I had no idea my tattoos meant and felt what I shadowed away.
Thank you for this. For being aware of my tattoos, scared body.
I do have a high pain tolerance but this doesn’t come from disassociation but from intense presence. I accept that the painful sensation is there, and I release all the mental resistance to the pain which adds to it. I just breathe through it. This is how I move through menstrual cramps (doesn’t happen often) without medication.
Wow this episode was so enlightening! I honestly didn’t think it would apply to me that much, since I don’t have many scars. I had totally forgotten about a scar on my head, from walking behind my brother while he was swinging a golf club as a child. Listening to this reconnected me to that scar and I felt pain there that I even noticed in the 20 something years since!
I realized that my mom had been deep in a difficult postpartum experience at the time & hadn’t been able to provide the comfort I needed. I believe this experience contributed greatly to my core beliefs that I “have to be ok” and deal with things on my own 🥹 I’m so grateful to both of you for being part of opening healing portals within myself & so many others! 🫶🏻 this is such profound work 🌀
Thank you! I’m so excited to go deeper with this beautiful community! ✨
Just got my ticket ❤️🔥
Yayyyyyy can’t wait to see you there Meg! xx
So much comes up for me around the subject of scars... I feel that mine are mostly internal, noticeable only to myself. And very intimate. I had a medical experience when I was 21 that was not "invasive" physically, but mentally and emotionally, yes. And uncommon too, something that I don't think many other women have experienced-- but also, probably more have than I would imagine.
I used to want to go to talk therapy mostly just so I could validate these kinds of experiences. I was quite sure that no therapist could tell me something about myself that I didn't already know, but I wanted to explain to someone what I already knew about myself. And I wanted someone to fix me, to smooth over all of these unseen scars, making me feel right again. But now I feel... mmmm.... much more alright than I did back then.
Thank you for opening this space Katya💫
I love this because I have had alot of surgeries for various things but the largest scar I have is from the base of skull to the crack of my butt because of the 10 back surgeries I have over the last 8 years. To me it made sense about circumcision and porn. Also, I lost my 19 year old son to suicide in 2008 and I found his body hanging by a belt which has left a mental in my brain. I also have 2 memorial tattoos for him. This whole session made alot of sense to me and it was thought provoking. I recently have been on a journey of new healthy discovery. I have been to Costa Rica with my exwife and stayed in Nosara and it has been my goal to get back to Costa Rica soon.
Wow, I don’t even know what feeling or thought to address with this episode. It really spoke to me on a deeper level of pain and things I have been working through. A lot of what you both said made me feel excited that I’m not alone in my thinking, and a lot of what was said was also such a powerful and subtle shift in my thinking that felt so nourishing and like breaking through a foggy layer of glass.
I have always felt so alone in the way I have experienced internal and external scars and the ways that certain experiences (that may not seem traumatic or was taught to be normal) have been so deeply interconnected and related to sexual trauma that has been living in me since I was a teenager and young adult. This is profound. Listening to you guys speak on this was not just emotional, but so invigorating because I have never felt before the feeling of…”I SEE you…I’ve GOT you” and to feel that I am not alone in something that I have felt to be true on a deeper level (the interconnectedness) but shoved down and numbed (because of the weight and aloneness). I’ve had to accept that these topics are just going to have to be my core wounding and lessons in life. I’ve always felt so lost in how to tap into the blocks and pains that surround my sexuality and intimacy and (dare I say, hatred) of those experiences, because they always seemed unattainable to me. And i was never taught by my mother or other women how to experience and be raw in those areas. To be able to feel desire for desire was daunting when it all feels like a chore. But something that was profound in your conversation was understanding that subtleties and deeper feelings can be trapped around scars that we may not even be aware of or that we may not know are related. And sometimes just the act of practice and rawness and presence is more impactful than trying to understand the timeline and story (which is why I often give up and go numb)—also a pro disassociator lol. Like Katya was saying about being tied and releasing things that didn’t need to be analyzed or connected to a story. The body is wise and knows what it needs to release.
There’s so much this episode brought up for me and I can feel all the emotions and solution finding trying to play out in my brain (which is stressful) so it was beautiful to hear you walk through a very simple way to approach my scars and that brought me so much peace and clarity to just…begin with that.
There’s obviously SO much coming up, and putting words to it is stressful. So I mostly just wanted to say thank you. And I really feel the vulnerability and emotions working themselves to the top and letting me know that it’s time to not numb these things anymore.
My name is Kendra. And hearing you say my name is 🤤
I sat in my living room listening while I felt my skin and tattoos. Then tears just poured out of me. Mine are transition, emotional pain. I had no idea my tattoos meant and felt what I shadowed away.
Thank you for this. For being aware of my tattoos, scared body.
Cant wait for March 25!
See you all beautiful souls there♡
This was an interesting episode.
I do have a high pain tolerance but this doesn’t come from disassociation but from intense presence. I accept that the painful sensation is there, and I release all the mental resistance to the pain which adds to it. I just breathe through it. This is how I move through menstrual cramps (doesn’t happen often) without medication.
Wow this episode was so enlightening! I honestly didn’t think it would apply to me that much, since I don’t have many scars. I had totally forgotten about a scar on my head, from walking behind my brother while he was swinging a golf club as a child. Listening to this reconnected me to that scar and I felt pain there that I even noticed in the 20 something years since!
I realized that my mom had been deep in a difficult postpartum experience at the time & hadn’t been able to provide the comfort I needed. I believe this experience contributed greatly to my core beliefs that I “have to be ok” and deal with things on my own 🥹 I’m so grateful to both of you for being part of opening healing portals within myself & so many others! 🫶🏻 this is such profound work 🌀
Thank you! I’m so excited to go deeper with this beautiful community! ✨